Latest English Jokes

Teacher : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Student  : Simple, Stop imagining. 

Boy: Where Are You Going? Girl: For Suicide..
Boy: Then, Why Soo Much Make-Up?
Girl: You Idiot..!! Tomorrow My Photo will Come In Newspaper.

John: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Paul: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Man:     Is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
Man:    will it help?
Doctor: no, but it will avoid such thoughts.

Johnny: Dad, what is a weapon?
Father: Well, Son, that's something you fight with.
Johnny: Is Mom your weapon?

A very old lady teacher of English ask this question with the class:
When I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.
Doctor: When ?
Man:Three Months Ago
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Man: We were using duplicate key