Latest English Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"

Husband: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife:        Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltrs.

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called? 
Student:  I don't know. 
Teacher: They r called Turks. Now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again?
 Peter:    Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollor note.
Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No, I was standing on it.

A girl comes late to class.
Professor: Why are you late?
Girl:          Sir a boy was following me.
Professor: So how did you got late?
Girl:          Sir the boy was moving very slow.

Teacher 2 sleepy boy : who invented steam engine ?
Boy :        what sir ?
Teacher : yes correct itz James Watt.